Communicating

Similarities and Differences

      After Thanksgiving Dinner it was at the table for assessment. I chose my daughter who has known me all her life and is probably my best critic. She is 32 years old, married for 10 years with no children. The second person that completed the survey is a 34 year old electrical engineer with her master’s degree. She has been married for 1 year and has a 2 week old baby. Her passion is being a portrait photographer in her free time.

     The one thing that surprised me the most about the evaluations is that for communication anxiety there was a three way score of 30 between the two people I chose and myself. For listening there was a three way match between the two people that I chose placing me in group 1.  I was just amazed at how well they knew me. I have never given it much thought until this assessment just how much my profession calls for me to communicate on a daily basis. There is not a day that is the same and I never know from day to day what problems I will have to deal with.

     Other insights about communication that I gained this week came under verbal aggression. It was in this area of the assessment that my score was higher(69) than the two people who took the assessment(58 & 67). It appeared that I could be argumentative at times possible hurting the person who was listening. The first thought that came to my mind was In School Suspension. Daily I deal with youth who are sent to me with behavior issues. Although these youth are sent to me I do not want to hurt their feelings any more than they have been hurt. My employment requires me to be firm with the students but in being firm I want to be fair.

     The two people who assessed me did not receive the results that I did but rather scored that I maintained a good balance between respect and consideration for others view points and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position. Since our scores were so different it makes me wonder if I am being to verbally aggressive.

     Another insight that I gained was because I was assessed as being empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others I am able to build relationships. Where it may seem that I am being too stern with the youth I am still building positive relationships that keep the students coming back to me just to be a listening ear. Before the assessment I did not know exactly what was going on and why youth came to me on a regular basis to share their problems. Sometimes I actually think some of the students purposely get into trouble just to come and sit with me in ISS.

     The assessment brought out a lot of good points which I plan to implement into my field of work, with my family and families that I work with and my colleagues. What I view as really important is having the ability to be a good listener. If I can be a good listener than the youth I serve will have no problem communicating to me.