Disagreements

Disagreements

     Daily I disagree with students in regards to how they disrespect their teachers. Students try to explain to me why it is alright to argue back at a teacher, be rude and disrespectful to their teachers, use profanity or harsh words and sometimes threaten their teachers. Regardless to how upset these students are with their teachers I try to hear them out and then offer some good sound advice. I have stated in the past that I am old school and regardless to what the teacher said under no circumstance were we allowed as we were told to talk back.

     The biggest disagreement that I have with the students is that no one listens to them and everyone believes the teacher. It’s hard to explain to a student that you are not saying the teacher is always right but what I am saying is that you have no right to be disrespectful. My instruction to them is if there is a problem go home and tell your parents, they are the adults and let them handle the situation.

     Big mistake, the student’s remarks to me is if I tell my mom or dad they will come out to the school and curse the teacher out and then the teacher will really be mad. So the students prefer not to tell their parents for fear of their parents making matters worse. This puts me right back where I started at telling the students if they will not tell their parents then they must be responsible enough not to try to handle adult situations themselves.

     Trying to explain to them that being disrespectful will not help their situation and it will only make matters worse. Usually after talking to them for a while the student usually calms down and I am able to talk to them and reason with them. My ultimate goal usually is to  bring the student and teacher together to talk about the situation. Prior to the meeting I ask the student to apologize to the teacher for being disrespectful. Most of the time they feel that they do not owe the teacher an apology but the teacher owes them an apology. My answer to them is you are not apologizing for what they have done to you but you are apologizing for being disrespectful.

     After the student is willing to apologize I bring the teacher and student together. I introduce the two to each other as if it were the first day of school. This sets the tone for a new beginning for both the teacher and the student. They shake hands, the student apologizes and often the teacher apologizes and states that they are sorry if they have caused any hurt.  This approach sometimes does not work but I am thankful for all the times that it has worked and teachers like the idea of starting all over and giving it another try.  

Communicating

Similarities and Differences

      After Thanksgiving Dinner it was at the table for assessment. I chose my daughter who has known me all her life and is probably my best critic. She is 32 years old, married for 10 years with no children. The second person that completed the survey is a 34 year old electrical engineer with her master’s degree. She has been married for 1 year and has a 2 week old baby. Her passion is being a portrait photographer in her free time.

     The one thing that surprised me the most about the evaluations is that for communication anxiety there was a three way score of 30 between the two people I chose and myself. For listening there was a three way match between the two people that I chose placing me in group 1.  I was just amazed at how well they knew me. I have never given it much thought until this assessment just how much my profession calls for me to communicate on a daily basis. There is not a day that is the same and I never know from day to day what problems I will have to deal with.

     Other insights about communication that I gained this week came under verbal aggression. It was in this area of the assessment that my score was higher(69) than the two people who took the assessment(58 & 67). It appeared that I could be argumentative at times possible hurting the person who was listening. The first thought that came to my mind was In School Suspension. Daily I deal with youth who are sent to me with behavior issues. Although these youth are sent to me I do not want to hurt their feelings any more than they have been hurt. My employment requires me to be firm with the students but in being firm I want to be fair.

     The two people who assessed me did not receive the results that I did but rather scored that I maintained a good balance between respect and consideration for others view points and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position. Since our scores were so different it makes me wonder if I am being to verbally aggressive.

     Another insight that I gained was because I was assessed as being empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others I am able to build relationships. Where it may seem that I am being too stern with the youth I am still building positive relationships that keep the students coming back to me just to be a listening ear. Before the assessment I did not know exactly what was going on and why youth came to me on a regular basis to share their problems. Sometimes I actually think some of the students purposely get into trouble just to come and sit with me in ISS.

     The assessment brought out a lot of good points which I plan to implement into my field of work, with my family and families that I work with and my colleagues. What I view as really important is having the ability to be a good listener. If I can be a good listener than the youth I serve will have no problem communicating to me.

 

 

 

Communicating With Different Groups

     When asked if I communicate differently with people from different cultures and groups my answer is most definitely. I am reminded of an older mother in the church who is pretty much set in her old ways. She is over 80 very religious, old timey as they would say, set in her ways, unwilling to accept change and believes that if young people want to know about sex it should be taught by someone other than church people.

      Her motto is “Don’t Discuss the Bedroom at Church”. She is very serious about this to the point that she has verbally told everyone. There is no need to try to discuss this with her because she stands firm and solid that sex and church just don’t mix. I have to smile when I hear her make this statement because this is the problem with our youth today. Our youth oftentimes feel they have no one to turn to so they turn to the streets for answers.

     So many youth come to me and ask questions about sex. Many times they are not even sexually active but are curious. Being able to talk with them many times have kept them from going out and having sex before time. In the situation of the mother out of respect and her age I try to respect how she feels by not bringing up the sex topic.  I am very careful about what I say around her and I try to make sure that our youth are careful not to ask specific questions when we are having group discussions.

     At the age of 80+ mother is not changing although change is all around her. It is amazing how the best kept secret among the elderly (sex)  still got out. Unfortunately my mom never talked with me about sex and I never had anyone who I could talk to. When I had my children it was different they could talk to me about anything and they did talk to me about anything. Sometimes I would have to have to hold my composure in order not to let them know I cannot believe this “child is asking me this”.  

My Chief Presider

Bishop William Lee Bonner

      As a young girl growing up under Bishop Bonner I remember sitting in the congregation at a young age and being mesmerized as he spoke words of encouragement out of his mouth. To me he was my father figure, strong, full of excitement, determined, giving, caring and so much more. Although he was an older pastor he managed to keep my attention even at a very young age.

     Bishop Bonner always spoke positive; he made you feel like you could accomplish anything even if it were boy problems. I remember around the age of 16 years old my mom took me to see Bishop Bonner because I was having boy drama. I remember sitting in front of Bishop Bonner and he was so gentle and kind, soft spoken and concerned. The last words that Bishop Bonner told me before we left the office was daughter you haven’t done anything wrong and don’t worry about it. Saying that to me helped me to believe that I had done nothing wrong.    

     In 1972 when it was time for me to go away to college and my dad had not prepared for my education it was Bishop Bonner who put up the money to give me my first start towards my educational goals. Bishop Bonner presides over 600 churches worldwide, he is our leader, our presider, our father in the gospel, but most important to me is he took time while in North Carolina to stop my house to say Praise The Lord. For the rest of my life I will never forget seeing Bishop Bonner sitting in my chairs at my home. This week he turns 92 years old and still remains the same, down to earth, willing to help while having an open line of communication with anyone he meets.     

Thank You

Professional Hopes and Goals

     It’s that time again time to move on to the next class. I must say that this class has touched my heart string more than any other class I have had. I have learned so much and have grown so much. The three words diversity, equity and social justice have taken on new meaning in my life or I could just say has meaning in my life. We are all different in so many ways but yet the same. This past 8 weeks has taught me to appreciate people for who they are and what they have to offer. I may not be able to speak Spanish but I can learn from and respect those who do speak Spanish. We may not attend the same church or worship the say way but we all have a right to attend the church of our choice and worship who we please. Just because I am African-American and you are of another race does not mean we cannot get along together. I am 58 years old soon to be a senior citizen but I have something to offer just as my classmates who are so much younger than me. We are all unique individuals in our own special way; we all deserve to be given a fair chance at life.

     One hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is that I will be open minded, compassionate, understanding , eager to learn, accepting, fair, and recognizing that people are different and they come with a lot to offer if given a chance.

     To my colleagues your words have been an inspiration to my life.  There is no other class that I have shed as many tears as I have with this class. The words of encouragement and praise that you offered to me during this class will go with me forever. I guess what amazes me the most is that we have never seen each other but yet have shared so much together. I look forward each week to reading your discussion board and blogs. My hope is that I have in some way or another encouraged you as much as your have encouraged me. Thank you for your support and remember we are all unique in our own special ways.

  From Thailand to the United States

     As a child care specialist for North Carolina’s Children’s Hospital I have been asked to make preparation for 50 Hmong Children who will be arriving in the United States in 30 days from a Refugee Camp located in Thailand. Two former refugees who are now married relocated to the United States and have started a group home for displaced Hmong children refugee children.

     The living conditions in the refugee camp have been poor with over 43,000 people living in less than one mile. There are no toilets, no adequate water for bathing, no clinics for the sick, no jobs, no land to grow food and no way of getting money.

     The ages of these children will vary from 2 years old to 5 years old. In order to prepare the staff for the coming of these children I have set in motion a plan to help make their transition to the United States run smoothly.

·       Since we have their adoptive parents here in the United States I would first have them to meet with everyone in the children’s department who will be involved with these children. In this meeting we will discuss ways to better serve these children as well as learning basic words that these children will understand in their own language.

·       Next it will be important to meet with the head of the dietary department to implement a meal plan that will gradually introduce the children to American food while still allowing them enjoy their native food.

·       These children have never seen a toilet, running water, people who look different from them, spoken English or heard English so this will all be new to the. I will put a welcoming committee together that will basically and gradually introduce these children to a modern way of life. We do not want the children to become fearful so we will move at a slow pace.

·       Since these children will be living in the United States they will need to learn Basic English so there will be teachers who will begin to teach them English.

·       It is going to be very important to have their adoptive parents on hand during this two week period. The children will be able to relate to them, they look like them, they talk like them and they eat food that they like. This will give the children a sense of home and their culture.

     These preparations hopefully will allow the children to make a smooth transition from the refugee camp to their new home. After leaving the hospital I have been asked to continue to follow and assist the adoptive parents and children for the next three months. My job as a childcare professional will be to direct an onsite child care center for the children to begin preschool.

   

References

    UNC Health Care

    http://www.ncchildrenshospital.org/news/usnews/rankings12-13   

    The Refugee experience in Thialand

    http://www.cal.org/co/hmong/hthai.html

Atlanta, Georgia

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression  

  One memory that I have of an incident where I witnessed someone else being the target of bias and prejudice was around 15 years ago. For Spring Break I took a group of approximately 30 African American teenage youth to Atlanta Georgia for Spring Break. At least 60 percent of the group was males. While in Atlanta I decided to take the group to Underground Atlanta. My directions to them were to walk around, do some shopping and to meet me back at a certain time and location.  Prior to coming I instructed everyone to be on their best behaviors, do not go in stores in large numbers, and not to stay in the stores to long.

     After being in the Underground for about an hour one of the youth came and told me that security had one of my youth for shoplifting. I quickly went to the store and found the youth being questioned by security. I asked the young man what was going on and he said that he was accused of stealing something. He told me that he had brought something from the store and I asked him if he had a receipt and he said yes. I asked for the receipt and sure enough he had it. Security told us that they were sorry for the mix up. 

     The young man was terrified at what had just happened. I knew that he had been questioned because he was a black male in a store and with other young black boys. Personally I feel that the situation was unfair and that the young men were automatically being watched because of their race and because it was more than one youth in the store. I did explain to the entire group that it was important to be very careful when going in and out of stores. I told them to keep up with their receipts. As I listened to different ones I could hear them saying that was not fair, we don’t even want to go into any other stores.  Their comfort of going into stores and shopping had left a bad feeling in them.

     As for me I knew that I had to try to protect our youth as much as possible and educate them on how to protect themselves in situations like this one. I had never had a situation like this one to happen to me before so I could only imagine what it felt like the, embarrassment and shame of being accused of stealing.

     In order for there to be changes for greater equity I feel that the store managers would have to come together with security and their employees and put together steps to be followed in cases where one is suspected of shoplifting. Just because there are more than 2 black boys in a store does not mean they are there shoplifting. The easiest thing that could have been done was for security to simply ask the young man if he had a receipt before he accused him of stealing